Day 6

Friday - I'm stopped and I can't wait to get going again. This is a nice part of time, I'm just stopped not moving on a moving vacation. Things are going stale and I can't wait for morning.

I am meeting some very interesting people not all from here but I must be stranger to them then me. Most people have a very good assumption about what an American. I break all most all of those which weirds out people. Its funny, I learning what this part of the world thinks of us. Most Americans that people out here meet are 18 in the armed forces and full of it. As any 18 year old there balls out going to live there own personal dreams without the consideration of others. That was me at that age path finding, cutting a trail in this strange forest call the real world. Age is probably the biggest factor but consideration age is given me.

Consideration is reflection on something and its meaning or need. To be considerate to someone is to see that persons meaning given the context of the situation and getting the need of that person. If you don't get it, that need then if the other person is considerate to you then they miss your meaning to them and your need to understand your need. Its funny I think that is what wise people are at any age, good at getting consideration. Its funny that if you give someone what they need before they ask you are considered considerate of them and there needs. But most likely you never cared you just did without thought of the other person just the things. Funny all that.

There are people in my life that need things that I do not understand, or more so I don't get there needs that they are expecting out of me. For instance my parents more so my mom, now fellas I know you can understand where I coming from and ladies I know you just might but its going to be hard for you. My mom would love me to call her as much as possible twice a week maybe three times. I know this but I don't understand it mind you I love my mom(Mom I do Love you), but this need to have some physical contact is not in my own needs so I just don't understand it. I think its an independence thing, as a guy I suppose to be the hard dependably pillar able to support and protect my family. In that my family harvested me to that end, giving me what I needed to get to this point. Making me support myself and awarding me with the respect of doing so. I think very deep down I would love to call my mom every day but out of a need for support, selfishly I would ask her to hear all of my problems and not tell me what to do unless asked.But that not really what my mom wants me to cal for, she wants the emotional support that her loving son would always give out of love. There is the impasse I know her need for support but would it be different if she gave me her support or would that undermined my own ability to support my family. I don't know I think it might so I don't see a solution just a problem to force my way past. Sorry for all that babble I'm just thinking on this page take it for what it is.

On other thought I love my mac book, especially this "TextEdit" program I'm using to write this. It does the basic functions I would now expect out of any program of this type: An instantaneous spell checker; A integrated dictionary; and a talk back function. This would have been helpful when I was learning how to write with my dyslexic head. Kids that have this dictionary version of dyslexia my farther and his father passed down to me forces the kid to know the big picture to figure out all the small stuff. Thats a problem in all schools I know 'cause schools/teachers teach all of the little things to start at an understanding of the big things.

Most people know dyslexia has to do with being backwards but most people can't think like anyone else, so there is the problem. Like the right handed people(the majority) and the left handed people(the minority), there was a time that all people where taught how to write with there right hand. Teachers found enough people that would have a difficulty with this seaming simple task. Out of fear that the kid in question was sick with a disease tried to eradicate it by pounding into the kids head how one should write. Now people are the best adaptors, so kids learn but some figured out if they just use there other hand they where much better. There is nothing wrong with being left handed or dyslexic. Its just trying to figure out the other way that comes easy to kids.

I think its the big picture, I know I knew what a word looked like in a general since, but I wouldn't know how to make that happen unless I remembered every relationship of the parts of the words. Even more simply the sequence of hand movements to write a letter the best cast is the lower case letter 'e' now it has a distinct pattern. You will notice in kids with this that in there writing the letter 'e' is capitalized. This is because the kid knows there 'e' is never right but they can make 'E' look right due to its simple relation if you know the pointy bite always point in -> that direction then its easy but the lower case one goes right up kind or left then kind of down till your past where you started and then right again till you are curving up again. now that sounds complicated if you have to think of every step. Thats how I had to think about it it wouldn't just happen in fact thats the think. Kids like me have to think of all kinds of little things most people take for granted.

So the kid seems to be slow dim in the things that they have little understanding of the kid would sound smart when they talk about something they know lots about(due to the familiarity with talking and the subject-mater) but when asked to write all of this down most of us fail not 'cause the knowledge is missing but the ability to put it down on paper. And when your system is a paper system it become near impossible for the kid to do it. I know it did for me for a long time in face this little notebook helps me now with all of the little stuff with its cool functions that I'm able to write all this down now. Making an 'e' or an 'E' is easy no small problems. I can always look a definition to confirm its the word I'm looking for and to get the a little more info I can ask this thing to say it back to me. Funny I wonder if kids like me in the future are going to get to write with there other hand.


Funny I just wrote a lot of stuff, crazy well if you read it all good job you and if it made sense good job me, any ways I'm starving so I'll go get breakfast.